Should I take my loved one with Alzheimer’s disease to Christmas services?
The Rev. Donald Koepke, director of the Center for Spirituality and Aging, says, "If we don’t address the spirit, we are only addressing two-thirds of a person’s life."
Just because an individual has Alzheimer's or dementia does not mean their spirituality is lost. On the contrary, the spirituality of the person is still carried beyond levels of communication that others may not observe or understand.
Spirituality is a natural part of human existence. For most people, spirituality is a means of hope, meaning and finding life's purpose. We are all a spiritual people, regardless of beliefs, and our spirituality can be expressed in several ways such as religious practices and/or rituals or a belief in God or a higher being. In that vein, your loved one probably still has a "connection" to the church you both attend; however, it may be that external factors, such as the music, or a large number of people praying or singing loudly, are making them fidgety or prone to talking above their usual decibel.
For an individual with Alzheimer's, it is so important to maintain their life's patterns and structures, as in your loved one’s case and going to church. Most likely, this attendance to a place of worship was a life-honored practice of your loved one and family. For as long as they are able, it would benefit your loved one greatly to continue this tradition, especially at Christmas.
Not only is your loved one comfortable in this familiar environment, but the services can offer them a sense of solace, a way for them to cope with confusion and the disease progression. Your loved one can also benefit from the socialization with regular churchgoers, gaining greater self-esteem and confidence. Additionally, hearing and singing the familiar Christmas songs during the services might put them at ease and lift their spirits.
Most churches have "cry rooms" for small children and this might be a viable option if your loved one’s fidgeting and/or loud talking is disturbing others during the service. You also may want to seat them in the back area of the church so you can quietly walk/pace with them in that area if they get too anxious. Inform ushers and pastors or clergy of your loved one’s condition, too. They can provide a means of support while your loved one attends services. When the time comes and your loved one can no longer attend services, you can still set aside things to do at home to enhance their spirituality.
You can read inspirational books, pray together, spend quiet time in a garden, and especially, sing or listen to your loved one’s favorite hymns. These activities not only promote dignity and respect but can also ease depression and anxiety that so often accompanies Alzheimer's disease.